


wants

by NotManTheLessButNatureMore



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25094452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotManTheLessButNatureMore/pseuds/NotManTheLessButNatureMore
Summary: “He wants all of this at once and he wants to die.”A tiny sad-Athos fic that I wrote a few months ago and put on tumblr but never posted here because it’s barely a fic. But here it is.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 18





	wants

He can feel soft leather against his cheek and a hand covering his ear, fingers rubbing tiny lines back and forth in his hair. It’s Porthos, he knows him by smell and by the way his strong hands stiffen as he does his best to be gentle. 

His eyes are barely open but he can make out the blurred and hurried shadow of Aramis and he knows d’Artagnan isn’t far, can feel his nervous energy flooding through them all. Turning his head upward slightly he sees Porthos and his worried eyes.

He wants to be everywhere at once. He wants to be in a tavern with a bottle of wine as Porthos gambles himself into trouble and Aramis catches the eye of a lady betrothed. He wants to be alone in his room, the bottle of wine not even making its way to his lips anymore and he wants to be full flight, swords clashing in training with d’Artagnan. He wants to be with Milady before she was Milady, wants to be chasing her through a field of wheat and walking through the garrison as Tréville’s lieutenant.

“It’s alrigh’, come on, shh.” Warm and solid words are whispered from somewhere above and he feels a finger rub across his cheekbone, a departing tear disappeared.

“Athos?” 

He wants to see Thomas again but doesn’t want to go where he’ll be and he wants to see his mother as she was when he was small, a boy pulling at her skirts and falling asleep to her whispered words.

“I’m sorry mon ami.”

He wants to stay where he wants to be, here with his brothers, and he wants to lie in a field buried under the weight of his sins where he belongs.

“Ath’?”

He wants all of this at once and he wants to die.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry it’s so short.


End file.
